My birthday is approaching fast. At the top of each November, I begin reflecting on the lessons of the year. I look at my birthday as the start of my new year. In reflection time, I always find some golden nuggets of wisdom which this year I want to share. In this post, I’m going to share 5 things I would tell my 20 something self. I have lived a life that has been full of valleys and peaks.
I think it’s always important to pass knowledge to younger ladies out in the world. Many lessons in life don’t have to be as hard if you are receptive to others wisdom. I also know many times everyone doesn’t have great wise counsel in their mix.
Being in my 20’s I never lived as I was so focused on making something of my life. I look at the girls now some are full of light energy that I could never even imagine having. Some ladies are already CEOs, mothers, and just the overall kept girl. Now for some of you, this isn’t your life yet. That’s perfectly ok. If you take nothing from this post, I want you to know that your right where you’re supposed to be. Also, don’t rush your journey as it’s covered in gold if you take time to notice it. Now as I am coming up on 35, I am starting to take the time to enjoy the fun times.
Ladies no matter what age you are, you deserve to enjoy the pretty things this world has to offer in a meaningful way. We all have a path and instead of trying to sound or look like someone else, embrace what you have to offer. It took me many years of dark days to truly appreciate who I am. I’m grateful for my smile and the many lessons that I have acquired along the way. Now let’s get into some of those nuggets of wisdom.
5 things I would tell my 20 something self
1. Accept what you can’t or won’t change
I lived in misery for many years trying to edit myself. Too fat, too loud, too outspoken. I worked myself to the ground trying to make myself be what I thought was acceptable. In my 20’s I lost 100lbs but never once enjoyed the victory.
At one of my jobs in my late 20’s, I had a manager who was gosh-awful make a very great point. You must learn to accept you. Review everything you don’t like and ask yourself can I change or will I be willing to change this and if not then I need to own it. This took some time to really sink in, but now I have grown to accept my body, my unique look, and most importantly my voice.
Constantly rejecting yourself destroys your confidence and overall makes you not a joy to be around. Be it in platonic friendships or intimately. You will constantly be on the lookout for someone to validate what only you can. If a partner is your validation, what happens when or if they go?
2. Know your ego
I have noticed a trend that isn’t very attractive in many especially women. We like to feel above others if our egos aren’t kept in check. I find this to happen in certain movements as the desire to appear better than is attractive and quenches our thirst for superiority.
A prime example I have witnessed is in the level up movement. I’m all for making your life better and living your best version of you. However, when it comes at the cost of belittling another woman who doesn’t subscribe to the same redric that you do it’s gross. If knocking another to their knees makes me feel strong then you need to go back to the drawing board.
When your ego isn’t checked we will gravitate towards people and movements that will give us our fix. Beloved your wonderful because of the gifts you are born with. No need to stab another to be seen.
3. Invest in the best that is in your tax bracket
Looking at my items in my home, I don’t like a bunch of stufff as I see it as clutter. I believe in buying the best you can as it will save you when you may not have it to rebuy. I still have the stainless steel pots and pans I first bought for my post-college apartment. They still look good as new after 10 years of constant use.
This applies to everything from your wardrobe, car, and anything you want. I grew up tragically poor and it was often common for me to do without. Once I started making a little money I would go buy up the cheapie clothes and shoes in order to feel like I had a lot. But after a few wears they would break. Then I’m back on the hunt.
Eventually I got rid of cheap items albeit cute for more polished and higher quality items. Now I’m not above buying something that may serve a quick purpose but I believe the bulk of what you have should be quality. Now maybe your not a 6 figure lady yet. No problem, a good Saturday at the thrift store will up your game quickly. I love getting unique pieces from clothes to home decor.
It does something to my soul to enjoy lavish items in my daily life. In a past post, I shared about items you should splurge or skimp on makeup which is one way you can enjoy the best daily.
4. Have fun with beauty
One of the greatest things to me about being a woman is the act of transformation with makeup and fashion. I feel I can express myself without words by the outfit I curate and of course the makeup. Looking back over my 20’s I dabbled in my looks but didn’t stray very much. I wore the same heavy makeup looks thinking it was really doing something.
Now in my 30’s especally with everything going with COVID-19, I have altered my look tremendously. I have fallen in love with a minimal look that allows me to look more youthful and fun!
Also I didn’t stray from certain brands but recently I was sent a gorgeous gloss from So Clear Beauty and I must say diversification of beauty is fun. I received their color Kasmi a gorgeous nude pink that is gorgeous. On my skin, I paired it with a nice brown lip liner and I’m ready to serve.
5. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed
To wrap this thing up, in my 20’s it was crazy difficult for me to speak up and out. Growing up with so much trauma and often being silenced due to the various things that happened to me, I lost my ability to speak my truth and needs.
Ladies if you desire more money, better treatment from those you allow in your life or just to live more grounded you must speak. Your voice and your truth are powerful which is why many try to silence it. Owning my truth about my mental health, my past, and what I need has boosted my confidence. A story that isn’t shared can wither the story holder.
Let’s say there a job you want with a certain salary or you aren’t getting your needs met by your partner say it with boldness and diretly. Passiviy serves no purpose in your life and it can rob the precious life force you have.
I have more of my 5 things I would tell my 20 something self that I will be sharing on my Youtube channel so make sure you head over and subscribe so you don’t miss it. Now I want to flip the mirror on you, what is something you would tell your younger self? Drop that in the comments now!