Bedtime should be a sacraed place for you. Sleep is such an important part of growth. You are able to heal, restore and be refueld. As someone who suffers from bouts of insomnia pretty regularly and have much of my life, I can tell you how boosting your beauty bedtime routine will boost your life!
When I haven’t slept well for a few days my ability to think positively, be productive and even my eating habits are affected. Being tired can make things that really don’t matter become a huge mountain. On the flip side when I am well rested for days I awake and have the drive to make my dreams a reality.
I use to be #teamnosleep or #nooffdays when it came to going after my goals. But after noticing how I would crash and burn because I wasn’t well rested, I began to take notice of my life. When you don’t value yourself you will not do things that are for your future self. For example, you know you have a big interview coming up, you would ensure to eat a great meal, take a nice relaxing bath and go to bed. But when you unconciously don’t value you, you will do things that will sabtage your goals.
Beauty rest also helps you to heal physically so you can workout more powerfully. The worst workout is one when I didn’t get much sleep as my endurance and determination are shot. The best thing I could do is some nice hot yoga, take a cool shower after and get real intimate with my pillow. Sleep is a requirement ladies! It’s not up for discussion as you deserve to pour from a full cup.
Here are some ways to boost your beauty bedtime routine
1. Create a soothing essential oil diffuser mix and tea
A simple mix of Neroli,Clove, Sandalwood and Sweet Orange
2. Make sure you set the mood
I have to sleep when it’s cool, the room is dark and free of distractions like my laptop. I have my phone on night time mode so no calls or text are coming in and the blue light is turned into a warmer light to help me to be relaxed.
3. Light stretches
I’m not sure how I stumbled on yoga squats but they are a game-changer. I will do some light stretches and yoga moves like a forward fold in order to go down into a yoga squat. Yoga squats help to open up the hip which as ladies we hold a lot of tension, emotion, and energy there especially as we are working from home. I will hold for about 3-5 minutes and as I come out the move I feel a huge release.
4. Gratitude
Once I’m in the bed I will jot down a few things I’m grateful for or if I’m dozing off I will think about them. I like to think of the good things in my life when I wake up and as I go to sleep. It helps to center me and keep me in a state of constant gratitude.
I hope these tips help you boost your beauty bedtime routine as your beauty goes beyond being cute but your whole being. Let me know in the comments some things you do at night to make your sleep a win!
Gentleness is often perceived as a weakness. We feel everything has to be to the max to achieve. However, gentleness is a superpower, and I will share three ways to bounce back from failures and other life’s detours. As a woman who has endured a lot of ish, I have always been a goal setter—even living in the projects, not knowing if the lights would get paid or if there would be food to eat. I was very driven to reach goals, but I didn’t know about being gentle with myself.
Growing up, I was often beaten for the smallest of infractions and always told it was for my good and that my indefinite terms of being on “punishment” were to help me to be stronger. Instead, it made me feeble when going out in the real world. When I stepped into the world were light years ahead of me in building relationships that allowed them access that I would never be able to gain. I felt if I worked hard, it would speak for itself. That isn’t correct, yes, your work should be stellar, but you will need others to speak on your behalf in rooms you are not in. Reflecting on my 35 years on this planet, I have reflected and felt bitterness and anger bubble. I felt robbed of many opportunities from career, friendship, and love. My good body years were not enjoyed like many in the lapse of luxury but on this hamster wheel of the abyss! Now at this point, one can go into a full-on pity party, or they can pivot into a new direction.
Gentleness is a Superpower: 3 ways to bounce back
As I firmly believe we are the authors of our story, I chose to pivot after allowing myself to feel all the things. We short-change ourselves when we suppress emotions. The need to release is real, as whatever we repress will start to show up in other areas of life. Anger will come up in jealousy, envy, and fear. We have to release, so we are open to new things. If your hands are full, I can’t put money in it.
In my journey of rebounding my life, I had to learn the art of gentleness. It’s not something I’m familiar with. In my life, I am used to blunt and brute force. But, there comes a time in your life journey when you have to acknowledge what isn’t working anymore. It’s the difference between surviving and thriving. The tactics you use to survive won’t allow you to thrive.
I wanted to get a little nerdy when it comes to the term gentleness; per Vocabulary.com, Gentleness is the quality of being kind and careful. The original meaning, from around 1300, was “inherited nature,” but by the 1600s, it had come to mean “freedom from harshness and violence. So to extend gentleness with yourself means to be kind and careful with yourself. Careful means being mindful, calculated, and kind, having a tender, considerate, and helpful nature.
Understanding what a word means can help break from any mental or emotional hangups on how to apply it to your life. Now fto3 ways to bounce back by using gentleness in your life.
1. Learn to observe without reacting
So let’s say you’re trying to find a new job because you got laid off. Instead of beating yourself up for not being locked to your laptop all day, you observe your actions and pivot. As I have been home due to my layoff, I have napped a bit and done creative things instead of the norm desperation of job searching.
By doing this, I have noticed I’m more focused when looking for jobs, and I have also seen opportunities coming to me. My energy has shifted as I don’t feel like I must take whatever scrapes out there. Allowing more ease in my life will enable me to be at my optimal level. Being reactive especially harshly wounds your inner being and causes unnecessary pain.
2. Take care of your whole self
Back in my 20’s, I felt I didn’t need to go to the doctor or that I didn’t deserve rest. So I would go days without sleeping and eating properly because I had goals. This led me down a very vicious path of burnout and unawareness. I was breaking down but couldn’t stop the ride I was on because I was bulldozing myself down.
No matter how much you have gone through, you are deserving of gentleness. You deserve to be treated with kindness and mindfulness. Often how those closest to us have treated us sets the standard for how we will treat ourselves. When you are met with rudeness from those who love you and care for you and fail miserably, you may believe that you aren’t worth the energy. This will lead you into destructive behaviors if you don’t have other people to pivot that energy.
Take time to shower, sleep in nice bedtime wear, and enjoy things that will help your future self, like working out and doing your medical checkups. Plan downtime and enjoy activities that you want. This will help you to persevere when life gets hard. Too much salt will lead to a bitter life, and too much sugar will give you diabetes. You need to balance to bloom.
When you rip a comb through your hair while it’s wet or dry for my ladies with my kinky hair what happens? You tear your hair up leaving a trail of damage. The same can be applied to your life. When you try to rip yourself you inflict trauma. Being gentle in both instances will allow you to keep things at optimal levels.
3. Release people and ideas that are harsh
I will end on this point, but it will be something that isn’t easy. When you have been accustomed to people and hold beliefs that enforce you have to be a bully to yourself to get things done, it’s not easy to undo. For the longest time, when I worked out, I talked to myself horridly. I wouldn’t ever allow anyone to talk to themselves or me the way I spoke to myself.
Failure is all relative. Some don’t see failure but as an opportunity to pivot. I see failure as what it is, which is not reaching a specific desired outcome. That could be not hitting a weight loss goal within a particular time frame or hitting those career or business goals. Failing to me means one has gone outside of what is familiar, and therefore the potential for things not going to plan is highly probable. When you meet failure with gentleness, you can be kind, see the positive, and carefully reflect on how you can improve! You can’t perfect what you never create!
Gentleness allows you to have another chance and a fresh start. It’s not easy to be gentle in a world that always glorifies rudeness or keeps it real, but those things don’t do anything but keep you stuck in a negative mental loop. Even if you do push yourself and hit a goal, you won’t even be able to acknowledge the sweetness of success because of all the bitterness.
I hope this post was helpful, as, in 2021, it’s time to live more mindful and more prosperous lives, which means working from the inside out to live more satisfying lives! Let me know if this resonated with you and how you will be more gentle with yourself.
2020 has been the longest year ever. With everything going on in the world, I wanted to provide 3 self-care ideas for tough days. Headlines are constantly putting people through emotional shock which starts to affect your body and mind. I believe we are all resilient but everyone has a moment where it’s just too much.
Self-care for me was radical a few years ago. Being a black woman, I was groomed to mule for others which was leading me down a path where I would eventually break down and perish. I remember when I first started being assertive about my own needs and care and how so many rebuffed me. I have said in previous posts, there will be some people in your life that are vested in you staying the same as it benefits them.
The more I stood in my power to change my life from changing my diet, working out, being intentional about the content I consumed, or what I spent my money on, I began to add life into my body and soul. As women across the board, we have been conditioned to put the needs of others above our own.
Even if your a mother, you still need to ensure your cup is full in order to properly care for your children. The old saying monkey see, monkey do is very important here as children no matter their sex will mirror you. If you are taking care of yourself your kids see that this is what I should do. It adds confidence to your little girl humans and teaches respect to your boy human.
For those who may be career-driven ladies or just following a different path, I know with every fiber in my being that when you truly devote intentional time into yourself, you can really birth those big dreams and grand experiences. Don’t let a health scare or someone’s passing be the wake up call. Do it solely because you know you deserve it.
3 self-care ideas for tough days
1. Take 20-30 minutes to reflect
I’m not perfect with my meditation. Some days I’m able to get up and get my coffee or tea and get to my meditation time. Other times I get straight to working neglecting the part of me that is needed to get through.
If I find myself mentally or emotionally spent, I take time to just sit and reflect in the moment. I jot down what I am feeling with no-judgment and allow myself to be heard. Taking time to pray, scribble down things I’m grateful for as it always pivots my perspective. I also allow myself to be human. As a black woman, I’m not superwoman or superhuman. There will be days, weeks, and sometimes months that just suck. I applaud myself for showing up even on those days even if I may have wanted to check out permanently.
Taking time to acknowledge yourself ladies, it’s a gift.
2. Re-fuel yourself by taking a mini-spa night
Before COVID, I kept a quarterly spa treatment schedule. Be it getting my waxing or massage it was a must. I figured out that I needed to have a time where I am poured into physically. Now that we are in this pandemic with no end in sight, I have really made my home as comfortable as possible in order to enjoy spa time inside. I invested in my skincare as it is a way I can do something daily to add to myself.
As of late, I found I needed a change of scenery so I booked a nice hotel for a weekend. Having a staycation if your able can really boost your mood. It may take a bit of planning but just being away from your current place and just basking in the moment is a great way to move past tough days. I am looking forward to taking a spiritual bath in the deep soaker tub and just basking in being alive.
3. Dance, sing, cry
Expressing your feelings is one of the hardest things for some people. We have been trained to suck it up and keep marching. In my research recently for grad school, the mantra for many black people has been a forced resilence. You must fix up and shut up so you can keep getting by. After years of this sort of coping, those emotions don’t leave you.
Stagnant energy will weigh you down and making it hard to bounce back. It will return in a new wig until you address it. I have found being able to just move my body allows me to stay in the moment and center me. Having just 5-10 minutes of this will help me calm down and actually feel things. In my past, I have the tendency to go numb to things but when your swaying to music you can not escape feeling.
For some people being able to sing is a way to move and express. I’m not a singer unless I’m not the car but I do find my mood becomes more at ease when I do sing. Do whatever you need to do in order to release. Honor yourself by allowing the feelings to be felt and then allow them to pass like clouds in the sky.
I hope these 3 self-care ideas for tough days was helpful. If no one has told you lately, your worth the fuss. I say this often as I know sometimes depending on your life path, you may have passively accepted the belief only certain people are worth the work of ensuring their happiness. Well baby, you are very important in this world and you deserve happiness, joy and light.
If you have other ways you handle tough days drop them in the comments!
