2020 has been the longest year ever. With everything going on in the world, I wanted to provide 3 self-care ideas for tough days. Headlines are constantly putting people through emotional shock which starts to affect your body and mind. I believe we are all resilient but everyone has a moment where it’s just too much.
Self-care for me was radical a few years ago. Being a black woman, I was groomed to mule for others which was leading me down a path where I would eventually break down and perish. I remember when I first started being assertive about my own needs and care and how so many rebuffed me. I have said in previous posts, there will be some people in your life that are vested in you staying the same as it benefits them.
The more I stood in my power to change my life from changing my diet, working out, being intentional about the content I consumed, or what I spent my money on, I began to add life into my body and soul. As women across the board, we have been conditioned to put the needs of others above our own.
Even if your a mother, you still need to ensure your cup is full in order to properly care for your children. The old saying monkey see, monkey do is very important here as children no matter their sex will mirror you. If you are taking care of yourself your kids see that this is what I should do. It adds confidence to your little girl humans and teaches respect to your boy human.
For those who may be career-driven ladies or just following a different path, I know with every fiber in my being that when you truly devote intentional time into yourself, you can really birth those big dreams and grand experiences. Don’t let a health scare or someone’s passing be the wake up call. Do it solely because you know you deserve it.
3 self-care ideas for tough days
1. Take 20-30 minutes to reflect
I’m not perfect with my meditation. Some days I’m able to get up and get my coffee or tea and get to my meditation time. Other times I get straight to working neglecting the part of me that is needed to get through.
If I find myself mentally or emotionally spent, I take time to just sit and reflect in the moment. I jot down what I am feeling with no-judgment and allow myself to be heard. Taking time to pray, scribble down things I’m grateful for as it always pivots my perspective. I also allow myself to be human. As a black woman, I’m not superwoman or superhuman. There will be days, weeks, and sometimes months that just suck. I applaud myself for showing up even on those days even if I may have wanted to check out permanently.
Taking time to acknowledge yourself ladies, it’s a gift.
2. Re-fuel yourself by taking a mini-spa night
Before COVID, I kept a quarterly spa treatment schedule. Be it getting my waxing or massage it was a must. I figured out that I needed to have a time where I am poured into physically. Now that we are in this pandemic with no end in sight, I have really made my home as comfortable as possible in order to enjoy spa time inside. I invested in my skincare as it is a way I can do something daily to add to myself.
As of late, I found I needed a change of scenery so I booked a nice hotel for a weekend. Having a staycation if your able can really boost your mood. It may take a bit of planning but just being away from your current place and just basking in the moment is a great way to move past tough days. I am looking forward to taking a spiritual bath in the deep soaker tub and just basking in being alive.
3. Dance, sing, cry
Expressing your feelings is one of the hardest things for some people. We have been trained to suck it up and keep marching. In my research recently for grad school, the mantra for many black people has been a forced resilence. You must fix up and shut up so you can keep getting by. After years of this sort of coping, those emotions don’t leave you.
Stagnant energy will weigh you down and making it hard to bounce back. It will return in a new wig until you address it. I have found being able to just move my body allows me to stay in the moment and center me. Having just 5-10 minutes of this will help me calm down and actually feel things. In my past, I have the tendency to go numb to things but when your swaying to music you can not escape feeling.
For some people being able to sing is a way to move and express. I’m not a singer unless I’m not the car but I do find my mood becomes more at ease when I do sing. Do whatever you need to do in order to release. Honor yourself by allowing the feelings to be felt and then allow them to pass like clouds in the sky.
I hope these 3 self-care ideas for tough days was helpful. If no one has told you lately, your worth the fuss. I say this often as I know sometimes depending on your life path, you may have passively accepted the belief only certain people are worth the work of ensuring their happiness. Well baby, you are very important in this world and you deserve happiness, joy and light.
If you have other ways you handle tough days drop them in the comments!